where the h*** did november go?!

lots of links in this post - have fun

today is a slow day at the office, which is nice because i haven't had a slow day at new role yet. it's been crazy, and amazing, and so stimulating that i've gone back to my 2002 habits of not sleeping... we're talking average four hours a night. i've been up reading, working, writing (though not here). some huge ideas are brewing, and i can't talk about them all here but needless to say it's all got me pretty worked up.

i saw that war profiteer movie last wednesday and it's adding fuel to my fire. i sat with thirty strangers in a church that has a history of social justice work - they also turn out to be the only people i've heard reference Jubilee 2000 since i was in South Africa - and afterwards we talked about iraq and democracy and 9-11. i realized why i invest so much in other countries' work - it's so much easier to research and believe that what you find is true. i read books on che guevara by st. martin's press and assume they're factual... i read newsweek and assume it's not. kind of f-ed up, let's be honest, so i do what i often do when scared: i ignore the problem and look for something different to give me a sense of security.

but anyway, sorry, the point really is that i think part of why i've avoided getting caught up in america's business is that it's so much harder to gain footholds while you're on the inside and enjoying the benefits of well-fed ignorance (that link is just to show that my life is very good and easy, relative to the rest of the world, not calling anyone ignorant but myself). especially in the United States, especially in Chicago, where complacency actually gets you closer to the american dream. i don't rock the Chi-town boat, i really love my city, and i love that Daley does the LEED architecture stuff (LEED = Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) Green Building Rating System™ ) (wiki link) but we all know that Al Capone was not the first nor the last crook to manipulate our local system.

(i am not calling Daley a crook.) (seriously.)
yipes. lot going on in this little head of mine.

i'm cutting back on freelance work again. i've got three things going on right now aside from the Real Job and that's more than enough. without meaning to, i've become one of those people who are so invested in many things that none of them gets true attention, every last thing i claim to be committed to is fit in-between other things.

meanwhile:
Mohammad said,
"do not dig many shallow wells.
dig one well and dig it deep."

well, crap.
things on my mind.
- i still can't believe i missed mandy's birthday
- jay's birthday is today
- he's in Hong Kong
- thanksgiving is next week
- i need to get Austin's site up
- if thanksgiving is next week, Christmas is in twenty minutes
- what's my budget like?
- how do i actually commit to anything?
- what actually matters to me?
- HOW DO PEOPLE GO TO WORK AND GO HOME AND FEEL CONTENT?
- really. i want to know.

this is obivously how i'm up all night, every night, and wake up smiling. the wildness of life will never relent, always be as chaotic as i allow it to be, and i'm in the mood to let it fly, you know?