little peace and quiet

Originally uploaded by faithful nomad.

tomorrow's the movie. THE MOVIE. we premiere it. we see how many kids are coming to see it. hopefully twenty thousand. that number has a two and four zeroes. four of them... 20,000 kids to see Dispatch.

i'm skipping my last chance at a state radio show tonight because i need to calm down. we're going to have a very intense next few days, and the last few have been seriously emotional. the end of the summer, things are coming out, things are being addressed. things like

(each question is a different person, mind you)
where is this relationship going?
why don't you like me any more?
did you really tape that?
why is everyone naked? (**taping unrelated to nudity...)
are you saying someone stole my wallet?
so are we doing one last group bonding thing or what?

so tonight it's me and a few boys at home, which is just fine by me. we're going to kinko's but first i'm doing laundry and laying out my clothes for the whole weekend. i need to get organized tonight, my last chance to do so before it's time to pack. but i STILL don't know when i'm going home, so how many tee shirts should i leave out?

my SISTER ANNE and my MOM are COMING on FRIDAY. i'm a little excited! i feel bad because i can't spend all my time with them in boston, but it will be cool that they can see the house, hang out downtown, and we're having breakfast with gary and owen on saturday. so all in all, i predict that things are going to end painfully abruptly... but i also think we'll all feel satisfied. but when do i go home? sometime before or on august 6th. this is like nicaragua, i can't think about the next step until it comes. things like job hunt, moving back downtown, getting back to church, design camp in october, visiting julie in san diego in november, how these relationships will continue, how i can nurture relationships that are barely there - that i want to grow when there won't be elements present that really help, like proximity or necessity. i like relationships that are like "let's get a cup of coffee," and it's so much harder to continue things that are based on a "once upon a time when we did that thing."

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